April 2008
20 posts
Seen in bathroom in Portsmouth, NH: “LOVE IS THA PERECTION AGROFOREVOR,” crude pictograph of butterfly. Like a modern Lascaux, basically.
#ROFLCon Couldn’t find fursuit when I was getting dressed this morning. Every trip I take, I swear I either forget that or my phone charger.
#ROFLCon Wondered aloud if ephemeral nature of Web fads could be altered by sincere scholastic inquiry. Drowned out by chorus of “STFU FAG!”
#ROFLCon Thinking of starting my own webcomic about lesbian wolf college roommates who are all vying for first in the X11 bugfix contest.
#ROFLCon 4chan guys and I spent lunch hour pwning n00b shoppers in produce aisle at Star Market. Next up: “Maintaining Human Dignity” panel!
New Constantines record sounds remarkably like “Gentlemen” if Greg Dulli had easy access to government-subsidized psychotropics. Love it.
Asked SEO rockstar if it’s itchy sleeping on a mattress full of money. He replied that my Twitter zingers aren’t “customer-focused” enough.
http://tinyurl.com/4c82pd “Blow your spend” vs. “higher quality eyeballs.” Is it any wonder I cry at night sometimes.
http://xrl.us/bjoa2 Worth a shot, I guess: Hey Comcast, what the balls is up with your Boston-local NESN HD feed?
Really wish I was playing wiffleball today. If my life were a shitty Wes Anderson movie, this would be the part where “Ooh La La” kicks in.
http://xrl.us/bjdd9 Philip M. Parker on computer-generated romance novels: “I’ve already set it up. There are only so many body parts.”
Had dinner with Patrice Bergeron before the Bruins game. I had the salmon and he had something out of a straw.
Recent unconfirmed reports: pro-Topiary Badfinger dissidents caught with soiled pruning shears and cache of 24kt Wings SACDs…DEVELOPING…
Walked in on coworker ripping apart his desk looking for lost Red Sox tickets while blasting “Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)” :D
AVENGE THE DECAPITATION OF TOPIARY RINGO.
“Dear Vimeo: Finally got table at Momofuku this weekend. Disappointed by paucity of rounded corners and poor pork gradients. DO NOT WANT.”
I wonder if VC dudes ever sit bolt upright in bed and exclaim aloud, “Gotta figure out a way to monetize Web 2.0 bacon fetishization.”
I’d like to see that weiner from “Dirty Jobs” manually delete 8,500 spam comments that Akismet won’t recognize for some baffling reason.
April Fools’ Day is the one day every year the Internet realizes what it’d be like to live in my apartment.
(See: 3DO night; the night we only listened to Scorpions; the time I tried - poorly - to convince Swift he’d been asleep for 36 hours.)
