Hey hey, are you a free-wheeling, happy-go-lucky, creative class, 20-something person who loves the show New Girl, playing frisbee in the park, and being within a 1-block radius from at least 2 Citibike stations? You’ve come to the right place because we’re looking for a new roomie! We’re three craft-beer loving dudes in our late-20s (picked to live in an apartment…) 1 is a bartender/photographer, 1 is in advertising and 1 works in online media and walks dogs.

We live in an interesting part of Fort Greene — some would say Wallabout — we invented SONY (South of Navy Yard) to describe our location. We’re about 5 blocks north of the G train.

Did we mention how much we’re all obsessed with the show New Girl (actually only one is…)? We even have a douchebag jar for those who leave dishes in the sink.

A self-described “mangiallenatori” – manager-eater – Zamparini goes through coaches like Ferguson does packets of gum. His logic is often impenetrable; in February 2011, Zamparini gave Delio Rossi the axe on the basis that the manager then was “without balls” and had “destroyed my club”. Two months later he re-appointed the same man, describing Rossi as “like my wife”.

Nor is it only in hiring and firing that Zamparini displays such eccentricity. On one infamous occasion, back in 2003, he threatened to cut off his players’ balls and “eat them in my salad” unless they bucked up their ideas. In 2011, after his team was beaten 7-0 by Udinese, Zamparini had the scoreline embroidered on to a set of handkerchiefs, which he distributed among his players, saying: “When they blow their nose, they’ll remember.”

This is my home. It’s fully furnished & decorated, no additions. Camp site logic - leave no trace. Don’t leave personal items in it or take items to your personal space. I don’t want to go looking for cups & utensils in your room. Kill it you fill it. Not yours, don’t eat it.

No dishes in the sink - EVER: We have a dishwasher. If it is clean, empty it. If it is not, put your dish in it.

Quiet Weeknights: No overnight guests on weekdays. If you are the kind to cook midnight mac n cheese while stumbling in after a night on the town in the middle of the week, it’s not going to work.